


War is Heck

by NukaDarling



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: F/M, M/M, Military, Pre-War, Unsafe Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:48:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26866912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NukaDarling/pseuds/NukaDarling
Summary: The Army was a damn good place for Nate to figure out that he had a taste for scrawny little fucks with smart mouths and an open mind.Kinktober prompt: Size Difference
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Kudos: 10





	War is Heck

Two decades in the U.S. Army had taught Nate two very important things: the first was that war never changes. The technology got more expensive, and people learned to kill each other with amazing efficiency, but at the end of the day they were still one group of bastards organized to kill and be killed by another group of bastards, all for the sake of keeping a handful of people fat and happy in the name of patriotism.

It was a rough life, but people could get used to anything. Crawling through trenches, shitting themselves to a slow death from the contaminated water, falling asleep standing up if you stood still long enough? That was just life.

Nate got close to too many allies, and his heart ached each and every time they lost one, until… it didn't hurt, he realized one day, because he'd stopped caring. He would prefer they lived, sure, because that made his platoon more effective, but men were a commodity, himself included— used until there was nothing left, then discarded, which led Nate to his second revelation: your survival odds increased when you lose your inhibitions about what people are supposed to be for each other.

Decorated war hero, he was. A real role model. Bright-eyed American Dream. A real glutton for punishment in more ways than his superiors would ever know.

The first time it happened, some new recruit, this pissant city boy, had stepped on his boots and didn't fucking bother to apologize.

Nate had never been a small man. Tall, jacked, not yet grizzled and scarred like he would be by his retirement, but still very much someone that You Do Not Fuck With.

He grabbed the kid’s shoulder and squeezed.

Kid didn't make a sound, just turned and looked him straight in the eye and moved on— or tried to. Impressed as he was by the cheek, he had a reputation to uphold.

His squad cheered him as he grabbed the motherfucker and slugged him in the gut, dropping him like a sack of bricks. Kid didn't say a word beyond an 'oof!’ as the air was forced out of him, and Nate felt eyes on the back of his neck as he walked off to deal with the scuff on his boots.

He was out taking a piss against a tree late that night when the kid approached. Nate tensed for a fight, but he stepped right by him to get his dick out.

Now, Nate hadn't spent a lot of time looking at other dicks, but he'd definitely thought about it. This one seemed fine. Thick.

A moment passed, then, “Like what you see?”

Nate shrugged. “It's alright. Figured you'd have one of them over-compensating tools.”

The kid finished and shook off, but made eye contact again as he gave himself a long, slow stroke. “Pretty fuckin’ secure in what I got, buddy.”

He was getting stiff. Fuck.

The kid glanced down, then rubbed at the head of his prick. “I know a bitch when I see one. What if you got down on those knees and sucked it?”

Anyone could come by. Someone would come over if he decked the kid again and someone heard.

His dick throbbed in his hand.

Words weren't necessary anymore. He pushed the stranger back against the piss-tree and knelt down to examine his unit.

Smelled like a dick, musky but clean, not much unlike his own. He'd never tasted one.

Hadn't realized how bad he'd wanted to until there was a hand in his hair and it was pushing down his throat, gagging him immediately, but the guy didn't seem to care overly much.

He figured it out before long. The fingers released their death grip in his hair and stroked it, soft and approving, and Nate moaned around the cock in his mouth as he jacked himself faster.

“Gonna come,” the guy growled, and Nate had a split second to decide if he was going to back off or let it happen.

He closed his mouth around the head of his prick and sucked hard. His mouth was flooded with the most vile flavor he'd ever tasted, but the thrill of it went straight to his prick. He spat out the guy’s jizz and beat himself faster, resting his forehead on his thigh, and came right on the scrawny little fuck’s boots.

He got a sharp pull to his hair for it, but Nate couldn't care. Serves him right.

He’d messed around some since then— blowies in the showers late at night, silent handjobs with soldiers while marching through Saudi Arabia— but the next significant encounter with a man had a different feel altogether. The guy had one of those Nordic names that nobody could ever figure out, Leif-something, so he ended up being Medic Lefty. If there was enough of you left to drag into his tent, you had a fighting chance under his care.

Lefty was soft-spoken, clever as the devil, and perpetually tired from some kind of childhood illness. Nate owed his life to him many times over, but he was humble. Just doing his job, he'd said.

Nate found him snoozing over a journal one day in the mess hall. Apparently, some groundbreaking research was suggesting that constant exposure to radioactive ions was pretty devastating to human health, who fuckin’ knew.

Lefty hadn't woken with Nate creeping over him, reading his book; that he took the man’s long-cold coffee for a quick sip went entirely unnoticed.

He left him in peace. They were deploying to Alaska soon, and they hadn't had a spare moment to rest in the flurry of activity leading up to it. Let their medic enjoy a healthy crew while he could.

Anchorage was rough for the unit, many of whom were from warmer climates and were not prepared for an Alaskan winter.

Nate didn't like it, but he was from New England and adapted well enough. Lefty was from Minnesota and his only complaint was that his work needed dexterity and his fingers got cold without the gloves.

A stray bullet had caught Nate in the hand, which made him pretty useless at holding a gun on the field for a while, but he was able to work as a dispatcher in the somewhat-heated base of operations while he healed, conveniently close to the medbay for his scheduled medications.

Weapons kept advancing, but their strategy was still to throw men at the enemy and hope for the best.

“Why aren’t we keeping up? Instead of wondering how we can shoot them better, how about keeping us safe?”

Whenever Nate saw him lately, his desk was cluttered with rough sketches. A suit of armor, chunky and dense, assisted by some kind of battery… thing… in the back.

He didn’t think the idea would catch on. There was no energy to spare lately, especially for expendable soldiers, and how would you even hold a weapon in that? But he let Lefty ramble on. Describing his ideas seemed to help him organize his thoughts and Nate enjoyed seeing him so passionate.

He brought him a coffee as he came for his last pills of the day, just relieved from duty. Lefty’s office was adjacent to a private suite, and the place felt cozy in a way he hadn’t seen since… well, a while.

Lefty looked up with some surprise at the coffee. Almost more cream than coffee, lightly sweetened. “That’s… perfect, thank you. How did you know?”

“I watch,” Nate said, and Lefty… blushed?

Oh, very interesting.

“I watch you quite a bit, actually,” And Lefty looked away, busying himself straightening his notes, but Nate could see the hint of a smile hiding on his lips.

“That kind of talk could get your ass kicked around here,” Lefty said, daring a look, and Nate just laughed.

“I’d like to see them try. Wanna know what I see when I watch you?”

The medic hesitated, then gestured to his quarters. “Not out here.”

Nate followed him into the other room, and Lefty had just shut the door behind them when he reached a hand out behind him, trapping the smaller man between himself and the wall. “I see a someone who’s too damn smart for this war. You’ve got a good heart, better than any other son of a bitch out here, and I never thought I’d be so damn lucky to get shot. I worry that this place is going to ruin you, though.”

Lefty put his hands against Nate’s chest, and he was sure that he was going to get pushed away, but after a moment he felt a tug. “I… should tell you something. Several somethings.”

Nate brought a hand to Lefty’s head, daring to stroke at his hair, and the man gasped when he dug his hands in for a tight fistful.

Fuck, this was a high he could see himself chasing. “What’s on your mind?”

“I’m not like— like other guys you’ve messed around with. I’ve heard the rumors.” Nate froze, and Lefty took the chance to break away from him to stand near his bed.

“I’m not saying no, but I’m also not someone who... does this, I guess. Casually. Not like these guys,” and there was something broken about his laugh.

Nate walked slowly, trying not to loom over him, and sat on the bed. “Then help me get to know you. Let’s make this something real.”

Lefty sucked in a breath. “Anything could happen. This is wildly inappropriate. We—”

Nate kissed him— a gesture which was returned eagerly, desperately, clinging tight like a man drowning. He backed off and let Lefty set the pace, all nervous hands and exploring mouths, and he found himself leaning back against the wall while the other man straddled his lap.

“Gotta tell you something,” he panted, and Nate responded with a firm suck to his throat, just under the collar of his barely undone uniform. “Hnng— no, seriously.”

“I’m listening,” he sighed against his ear, and Lefty shuddered.

He was tense as a bow string.

“I’m… not built the same. As other men. As you.”

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Nate asked, and it took a moment to get a tentative nod. “There, that’s what I care about. We’ll figure out the rest.”

The coffee went cold in the office.

Their… affair, if you will, was cut abruptly short about a month later when Lefty disappeared in the night, leaving everything but his notes on the robot suit. His replacement was a gruff medic pulled from another unit, but kind enough— said the previous guy had been needed elsewhere.

Nate helped him clean out the office. If the new guy noticed him pocketing stashes of condoms and the occasional trinket, he said nothing about it.

The condoms went bad, the trinkets got lost over time, and the memory faded along with the pain.

What the fuck was the point of getting attached?

Fifteen years into his service, he took leave to visit his father in Boston, for all that it mattered. The dementia had made them strangers.

He had no more family. There was nothing to come home to anymore.

He stopped by Slocum’s Joe on the way to the base to catch a hop back to China, and he was barely paying attention when he bumped into a table, scattering coffee and textbooks. He immediately dropped down to gather the books, and when he looked up, he realized somehow that he was kneeling at the feet of someone who was going to change his life.

And for the first time, Nora smiled down at him.

**Author's Note:**

> Previously posted in a collection of Kinktober prompts.


End file.
